Dirty Martinis, Sangria and Vodka on the rocks are my vices.
Beer too. MMMMMMmmmm beer.
And wine. Can't forget the red, red wine that makes me feel so fine.
I don't drink every day, but I do like to get my buzz on more than occasionally. I'm an adult and I do it responsibly. I don't get wasted around my kid, and I always get done what I need to get done before and after going on any drunktastic voyages.
What was the point of me admitting this all to you? I'm about to STOP, IN THE NAME OF LOVE FITNESS for at least 30 days.
Only booze isn't the only thing I have to give up...
During my 30 Day Cleanse I'm also not allowed to partake in the following:
Soda/Diet Soda/Sugary Drinks/Vitamin Water/Gatorade/Red Bull/Crystal Light (Basically I can't have sheeeet aside from water and green tea - Have I mentioned I HATE WATER)
Cold Cuts
Processed or Frozen Foods
Artificial Sweeteners
Salad Dressings with No Fat, Low Fat, or that are HIGH in sugar
NO Dairy
NO fruit, except green apple(Who likes the green ones anyway, damn it!)
NO Peas, Carrots, and Corn
NO Pork or Red Meat
NO COFFEE - GASSSSSPPPPPPP
I know what you're thinking, because I was too.
What the hell can I have?
Well for Breakfast & Lunch I get to drink these (supposedly)delicious program shakes that are meant to keep me full and aid in ridding my body of toxins and other crappy jazz. I'll also be taking some program supplements throughout the day to flush my body of fat and anything else that has been hindering my weight loss efforts.
For dinner I can enjoy a healthy meal that is between 400-600 calories containing the following approved foods:
Raw Almonds (6-8 only)
Green Apples
All vegetables except peas, carrots & corn
Tomatoes, beets, beans and legumes
Olive Oil
Vinegar
Chicken
Fish/Seafood
Sushi with Brown Rice (NomNom)
Eggs
Brown Rice
Sweet Potatoes
Stevia
Pasta - but only if it is Quinoa Pasta or Ezekiel Pasta
Ezekiel Bread or Wraps
I can also throw some sensible snacking in throughout the day using the above list.
Doesn't sound too bad, right?
Well, I forgot to mention the part where 4 days out of the 30 I'll also be doing 2 "Deep Cleanses" that last two days each, where all shakes and real food are replaced with special supplements to completely cleanse my system.
Sweet Baby Jesus, that is NOT going to be easy for me.
Oh, and I also have to drink at least A GALLON OF WATER a day. Just letting you know now, there will most likely be a post about me wetting my pants in the near future considering my bladder is the size of a peanut.
Oh, and I also have to drink at least A GALLON OF WATER a day. Just letting you know now, there will most likely be a post about me wetting my pants in the near future considering my bladder is the size of a peanut.
At this point you're probably wondering why I'd even think about giving up my beloved booze and torturing myself in the above ways, but the thing is I have a fabulous friend who has been on this particular Nutritional Cleansing Program for the last two months with AMAZING results.
In 60 days she dropped 37lbs & 7 inches off her stomach. Her
BMI went down from 33.7 to 28.6!!!! She has more energy and better sleep.
But the most important change I have seen in her is how HAPPY she is. Whether it's the products on the program or just feeling confident from all that weight loss, she is literally glowing...
AND DAMN IT, I WANT THAT!!
I'll be kicking off my 30 Day Fat Burning Cleanse on Friday, September 27th 2013, and bitching blogging about it here every single day so you can follow my weight loss journey.
Wish me luck!
With 18 pounds to lose and a sense of humor to keep, I'm going to need all the luck I can get...
Hey Melysa, I will be starting the program on the 28th. I hope we can keep each other on track. Good Luck to you, and God help us, I think we are going to need it. LOL
ReplyDeleteLOL. Well I know I will need the help. Glad we are pretty much starting at the same time. Good to know I have someone in the same boat - which we may literally need from all the water :)
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